What the world values are wealth, rank, a long life, and goodness. What people enjoy are good health, rich food, fine clothing, beauty, and music. What they hate are poverty, low position, dying young, sickness etc. What people worried about is that their body might not be in good health, not able to taste rich food, put on fine clothing, see beauty, or hear good music. When they cannot obtain these things, they are plunged into deep sorrow and worry.
The rich hustle and bustle and hoard up wealth. They spend their time attending to their wealth and to the externals of life. When a man is born, sorrow comes with it. Life comes from a source and death is a return to it. Thus, beginning follows the end in a continual cycle. The only way to stop this cycle is to know the Truth and practise it. Upon departure, none can take along a single cent with him. We come with nothing and go with nothing. Fortunately there are also a lot of wealthy people giving away millions. The more they give, the more they receive. The hand that gives gathers.
All products of the world are the results of the refined and beautiful material force. Man takes the best of it to nourish his life, but it is all from Heaven. Do not let the artificial cover up the natural. Do not for material purposes destroy your life. Do not sacrifice your character for your fame. Guard carefully your nature and do not let it go astray. This is called returning to one’s nature.
One who attains Tao or awakening sees perfect beauty and feels perfect happiness. Happiness and anger, joys and sorrows, should not enter one’s heart, for this universe represents the unity of all things. When one perceives this unity and is united with it, he regards his bodily form as dust of the earth, and the cycle of life and death just like day and night. He cannot be disturbed by such accidents, much less by the occurances of fortune and misfortune. He shakes off an official position as he shakes off dirt, knowing that he cannot allow his true self to become lost in external changes.
He who does not deviate from the source of all things is a man of God. He who does not deviate from the essence is a divine person. He who does not deviate from the Truth is a perfect man. He who regards the Heaven as the source, virtue as the foundation, and Tao as the portal, which is evidenced in all changes of life is a sage. He who guides himself by the principle of humanity in performing acts of kindness, follows justice as his principle, observes ceremony for his conduct, expresses the sense of harmony and is compassionate and kind, is a real gentleman.
My Heavenly Master JiGong said, “The most anxious thing for people of the world is hunger and cold. What closely related to life is just food and clothing. If one can already survive with eating simple vegetarian food and living an unremarkable life (not interested in seeking fame and fortune), and as long as the living is tolerable, do take it easy. Don’t say that the fence of my house is so ‘limited’, how can I achieve a good fruition? (be rich). If one is satisfied with life, even bitter gall-bladder can be sweet spring and a thatched cottage can even be an elegant mansion.”
Author: T.A Chew
T.A Chew has been living a very simple life. As a vegetarian he learned that after the three inches from the throat, all tastes cannot be differentiated. Why look for mountain delicacies and rich deep sea food? says his Heavenly Master JiGong. Website: http://www.white-sun.com
I’ve been seeking to reach a conscious contact with God and the life source that connects as all for the better part of my life. Searching for my purpose, knowing all along that the world was far bigger than my humanly 5 senses could ever understand. Inner peace, harmony with the universe, free from self-doubt and at one with God and his will for me.
My perfect day is to walk with God, without fear, my true father and the source of all life, and at this time selfishly have God’s ear to me and me alone. I don’t question him about the suffering I brought upon myself. I do not blame him for the hardships I’ve endured. I have this amazing peace about me and the Lord’s spirit engulfs me with joy and gratitude. I ask the Lord what special plan he had for me, because I’m confident that he has a very particular mission from me and all that has happened in my life so far was necessary for me to endure in order to bring hope and Faith to the multitudes. I don’t ask God what took him so long; instead it is he who asks me “My son, what took you so long”? “So many times you called on me. You prayed for second chances. You promised to turn your will over to me, yet so many times you took it back. Your sacrifices were of your own doing, yet it is your suffering which makes you a powerful tool to help those who are able to relate to you. Sinners need to hear from sinners, for the voice of a saint will fall on death ears, yet a sinner who has given his life to the Lord carries a powerful influence to those who still wander this earth lost, searching for hope and it is your tales of faith that shall pierce their hearts and fill their souls with my spirit and they too shall find the peace I have lovingly given to you. Give of your self freely, for your reward is larger than your earthly mind could ever understand”
We walk along an empty beach yet I don’t feel my feet touching the sand. I realize that he is showing me a glimpse of heaven, for my heart is overwhelmed with Joy and my mind is at peace as I realize that the external concerns that absorb us as humans in this world are the farthest thing away from the life that my God desires for me.
I begin to ask him questions that remain mysteries to us as humans. “Is there a heaven?” “Will I see my departed love ones when I leave this realm and move on to the afterlife?”
God laid his hand on my shoulder. I felt a powerful Love that brought tears to my eyes. So overwhelming, indescribable in any manner or words known to man. It feels as if I’m floating in God’s arms and I feel safe and secure for the first time in my life.
When I turn to look at him I am somewhat blinded by this amazing light. A light different then any light I have seen on this earth. Suddenly all my wonders become so clear to me, so simple that I never saw them, all the while they were with me, right in front of me. No, not in front of me, or beside me, but within me. I had lived in the material world for so long that I had truly lost site of who I was and why I was here. At last my purpose was clear to me and I could hear the angels singing from the gates of heaven. My heart rejoiced and I can not describe the freedom I was basking in or the pleasure I was feeling knowing that God loved me so much. It became so clear to me how tiny my earthly concerns had been. My life would no longer be lived in the earthly plain where guilt and envy dwelled. I would never again worry about anything, including money, food, health, or employment. These were all things that will be left behind when my journey here was over and I went to dwell in the house of the Lord. I knew that I would be provided for and I could now set my intentions on God’s will for me.
I walk this earth to give hope to those in despair, to give faith to those who see no future, and love to all of God’s children unconditionally. Through my trials and tribulations came a powerful message from God through me. I will lead by example with a loving soul and a forgiving heart. I will not indulge prejudice but treat all my brothers and sisters as equals, because we are all one and the same in the eyes of our Lord.
As God wishes I will breach the boundaries of this worlds many religions, for there is one God and he chooses no favorites, with the exception of those who do his work and follow his word. To those they shall have favor from our Lord and from all men. They are not above any other man; only in their testimonies do they separate them selves as disciples of the lord, messengers and leaders by example.
Before the lord left me he comforted me. He promised me that His spirit will guide me and be with me for eternity. “You will walk this earth with angels at your side. All who see you will know that you have the hand of God upon you”. “Do not fear, for you as a believer have opened the gates of heaven to all whom you love, those with you now and those that now reside in peace in the house of your Lord”. I was so rejoiced and began to walk on air. “I love you so much God, Thank you!” And once again God laid his hands on me and his voice spoke through my ears to the depths of my soul. “I love you my son and I am very proud of you”. My body was filled with this beautiful spirit that consumed my every being. The spirit was loving and nurturing and the purest of pure. I was as a newborn coming into this world cleansed and without sin. I felt compassion, every breath of air I took was full of direction and purpose.
The Lord left my side yet I could still feel him resting inside of me. What an honor to serve such a loving Father. It was time to spread God’s love and compassion with those who were suffering spiritually. What a wonderful journey lies ahead. What a wonderful friend to travel with. Yes, I am truly blessed! Now there’s work to be done and love to be spread. God Bless You!
Jay Bartels is the author of many human interest stories. Jay’s own story of hope and inspiration can be found on his highly resourcefull family sites. Jay is a single father raising two young girls and shares his experiences in several journals that can be found on his web sites. If you would like to contact Jay, he will be happy to accept your email to him at BOCABOYJAY@aol.com
If you enjoyed this article, please visit Jay’s Family sites at Jays Plan - Secrets of a Single Dad and Family Health With Mister Mom.
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I hear three little words containing just 13 letters of the alphabet that come from almost everyone I work with. These 3 little words hold thousands and maybe even millions of people prisoners in their own lives. They have us do things we don’t really want to. They prevent us from doing the things we really yearn to. They steal our dreams and our life energy. They keep us small and add significantly to our already stressful lives. These three powerful words are ’should’ and ‘ought to’.
How frequently do the words ’should’ and ‘ought to’ come up during the course of your day? Have they shown up at important times in your life? As in, I really should exercise today, I really should take this job, I really should go to this networking event tonight, or this….although I’d really like to ________, I really ought to _________. You fill in the blanks. These 13 letters, when used in these contexts, take life energy from us. They can create other feelings like resentment and guilt and they took take energy from us.
For now, it’s enough to know they come from our social or cultural conditioning. As powerful motivators they push us into taking action, or not. If we give in to our shoulds, we may be giving up on what’s really important to ourselves and that starts an entirely different conversation with ourselves. “If only I _______, I could have __________.”
Do you want to break free from the habit of ’shoulding’ yourself? Follow these few simple steps. The steps are simple. Doing them can be the hard work. If you’ve been doing this for years, you may be on automatic pilot. So have patience with yourself and with others too.
Step 1. Notice - Pay attention to when you ’should’ yourself
(Notice - does not mean criticize or beat yourself up about it. Just notice.)
Step 2. Pause to interrupt the habit of reacting to your should
Step 3. Choose a new reply or a new course of action
Step 4. Celebrate the energy reversal or freedom that comes from doing what’s right for you
Here’s an example to get you started
FROM…..
I really should go for a run because I’m supposed to, it’s run day.
WHAT’S THE IMPACT?
Yuk! Feels like drudgery, might push you forward but it’s with a big effort. Likely takes longer to get out there and run.
TO……….
It’s run day. I’m excited to go for my run today as it gives me more energy to help me create a great day.
WHAT’S THE IMPACT? Do you feel the positive energy? That pulls us forward and that saves more energy for the run and gets us closer to the end result benefits with less effort.
Your turn. Take a moment to practice to find an example from your own life?
Examining your ’shoulds’ is more than simply turning a frown upside down but this simple process can get you started. Awareness of your conditioning, your values, what’s important to you and more, combined with the willingness to make changes can put you on the path of a more inspired life. On that path you get to do more of what you’re meant to and others get to see more of your individual greatness.
Wishing you an inspired day!
Debbie Kemp is a professional coach and corporate-world survivor supporting other busy professional women to stay connected to, and stand fully in, who they are.
Visit Debbie at http://www.avirtualretreat.com, a beautiful online environment designed to soothe the soul of the professional woman.
The journey through life, full of many twists and turns, can at times leave you breathless, wondering where you went wrong. It appears that going wrong is the only obvious explanation for the turmoil that might be face. With the soul parched, struggling to find meaning and purpose, the desolate landscape of a desert saps the life right out of each step. With the heel dragging, the footfall landing on cacti, the hot sand blistering the feet, you don’t remember when the lush landscape of abundance deserted you. Yet, as I have ventured through many a long desert-journey as part of my life-path, I have discovered the desert to be an important aspect of a well-lived life.
Each person will have a unique life-story to live, a unique life-purpose to manifest, and a unique passion to embrace and share with the world. This is where the desert really does its most miraculous work. The moving dunes, the sun-baked rock, the flash-floods and weathered and shaped terrain beholds a grandiose beauty that is inspiring to the visitor. There is superb and profound strength found in such a place and a beauty that is hard to deny when the observant and discerning eye stops the chattering mind and really takes it in all the detail.
Often times the parched soul will be unaware of the riches that are all around as they travel the road of life this way and that way in desperation. The desperate struggle to survive this blasted furnace and seemingly desolate landscape causes an anxious panic as one mirage after another is chased into oblivion. Each time a mirage is chased, the traveler will come closer and closer to the lesson and learning that is screaming from within. This inner-voice of wisdom is difficult to hear over the moans of self-pity and cries of anguish and pain.
In time, the traveler’s will begin to settle as the pain of festering blisters and excruciating thirst bring their attention back to the body’s wisdom. Noticing the state of self and a quiet inner-voice, realizations of what is not wanted, the imagination begins to form a vision of what is wanted that will shape a new reality and reveal an invisible path within the desert landscape.
Although weakened and discouraged, the traveler slows the pace and balances the sight between the horizon and self; what is wanted and what is not wanted. As this awareness grows and panic subsides and surrender takes place, the traveler can now begin to see the fruit blooming in the desert. This is what it is to change the focus from an old lifetime of values to a new path to the truest inner spirit.
New values can be formed and discovering the great wealth in the smallest grain of sand, honoring it with gratitude and blessing, more abundance can be found, allowing the trail toward the oasis to reveal itself. Now aware, the senses are heightened and whispers on the wind tell stories of others who have traveled and learned on this road to inner-truth. Observing the nature of the wild new wisdom is also found and finding that first watering hole bringing temporary relief and refreshment to the weary traveler.
However, the journey is not over it is soon discovered and leaving the waterhole is a must. Staying too long will only lengthen the duration of the journey and potentially leads to new calamities as wildlife and other travelers come with their own stories to live. With a courageous step, the traveler ventures forward again back into the wilderness of the desert, momentarily overwhelmed with the inhospitable heat that wants to consume. Focusing the awareness again, remembering the lesson learned the sight is set back to the present and self, to find the balance between the two worlds so that insight will reveal itself. A personal alchemy is practiced with focus, intention, and attention, showing the way back along the invisible path that reveals itself to the aware. Each step brings many instances to observe and learn, to discern and hone, and the traveler gains clarity of what is wanted and what is not wanted.
The most difficult aspect for some in such an inhospitable landscape is the art of gratitude and yet gratitude is the gift to the teacher within who will grow stronger. Giving in gratitude, the teacher is able to impart the lessons judiciously and expediently, making the hidden path visible and straighter than the meandering wide road of malcontent. The malcontent traveler often finds themselves sitting alone beside the road panting with want while the grateful traveler finds companions that make the journey light. Even so, there are generous lovers of life who will extend a hand to the malcontent, if only they will pick themselves up after a period of encouragement and compassion.
Part of my life-story also saw me in the midst of struggle, blind and groping for the toilet handle so that I might flush the crap out of my life. With the passing of time, my experience lends to observance as my awareness grows and gains clarity. With clarity increasing in focus I clear out what I don’t want in my life and continue to make room for what I do want in my life. With quick refreshing experiences of what success may be, an overwhelming desire to lean into the momentary comfort takes over and I rest. Before long I realize I cannot stay here and must continue the journey.
On the first leg of the struggle my panic kept me lost, blind, and desperate. Then the observance of wants revealed a path as I watched for what showed up, and my gratitude solidified my vision of who I am and where I want to go. Again I continue, able to trust in the process, weathering the storm, grateful for the shade, the sun, the water, and each piece of fruit discovered on the way. The time arrives when I now see the lush green on the horizon, the desert harshness has lost its’ edge, and the truth of who I am blossoms forth bringing riches to the world.
The most miraculous and joyous truth of this journey is that the blossoming riches for the world are also for myself. The grateful heart, the giving heart, the observant wisdom, all know the intimate balance of the elements and forces of nature; not just the raw laws of the wilderness but also those of humanity and spirit. In honoring these lessons and sharing the bounty is service to humanity and to self, to Spirit and to spirit, to Love and love through the gentle art of generously giving and graciously receiving.
Lee Down is a professionally trained Spiritual Life Coach committed to the development of the human spirit. His vocation and business, One Man Can Human Capital Development has evolved from human resources, to career and life coaching until the inspired writing, also available on his site, paved a new path into the realms of Spirit. Discover power, passion, and purpose. Enjoy abundance, love and fulfillment.
Let’s file this one under the heading of random musings and observations, or what I like to call “things I’ve noticed along the way so far.”
Of the many things we tend to forget about in our fast paced culture, two of the most important are how to play and how to rest.
Even if the grass is greener on the other side it’s still got to be mowed.
Like most men, one of my biggest emotional needs in marriage is to be and feel appreciated. It took me a long time, almost too long, to figure out that in order to be appreciated, I had to do a whole lot more than just show up.
It’s much easier to raise a child than to repair an adult.
Exactly when did fast food become so slow?
Most women simply need to be told frequently and shown often that they are loved.
Just about every kid I’ve ever worked with faced the challenge of a “personality conflict” with a teacher. Of the many ways to handle this challenge is to look at it as good practice for adulthood, when the exact same thing will happen in the workplace.
When it comes to adequately expressing emotional pain, the English language falls terribly short.
People who complain more than their share are usually trying to tell someone how very much they hurt.
There are lots of folks who are in a relationship because it’s socially acceptable, while being committed to something else in their lives.
Can someone please explain to me what could be so important as to be worth risking your own life and the lives of others by running straight through the red light at a busy intersection?
Some people enjoy the defining and re-defining of a problem much more than solving the problem.
Whether you look upon the things you do every day as a burden or a privilege determines whether you do them grudgingly or gracefully.
How is it that couples can be involved in a nasty loud heated argument and when the phone rings they stop and answer it with a pleasant hello? We seem to be more willing to talk pleasantly and kindly to an unknown caller than to our spouses.
It never ceases to amaze me how creative we are at complicating our lives.
Here’s a quote I recently came across that hit’s the emotional bullseye: “Being cared about is something so desperately needed in this depersonalized world that people will crawl across a thousand miles of desert to get it.”
In the wake of all the recent school violence, those asking “how could this be happening?” are asking the wrong question. A much better question is “What are we going to do about it?”
If you are blessed enough to still have elderly relatives and aren’t regularly “picking their brains”, then you are really missing out on a great source of experience and wisdom.
Most depiction’s of marriage/family counseling in the movies or on TV embarrass me.
Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
“As they … discussed these things with each other, Jesus Himself came up and walked along with them” (Luke 24:15).
In this final and grand chapter of Luke is given to us perhaps the first fulfillment of comforting promises, “Where two or three come together in My name, there am I with them” (Matthew 18:20). A pastor once noted that only one of the two was named, and he suggested that the reader take his or her own place there beside Jesus and Cleopas. What a beautiful thought!
I would like to share this wonderful commentary from William Barclay:
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This is another of the immortal short stories of the world.
(i) It tells of two men who were walking towards the sunset. It has been suggested that that is the very reason why they did not recognize Jesus. Emmaus was west of Jerusalem. The sun was sinking, and the setting sun so dazzled them that they did not know their Lord. However that may be, it is true that the Christian is a man who walks not towards the sunset but towards the sunrise. Long ago it was said to the children of Israel that they journeyed in the wilderness towards the sunrising (Num.21:11). The Christian goes onwards, not to a night which falls, but to a dawn which breaks — and that is what, in their sorrow and their disappointment, the two on the Emmaus road had not realized.
(ii) It tells us of the ability of Jesus to make sense of things. The whole situation seemed to these two men to have no explanation. Their hopes and dreams were shattered. There is all the poignant, wistful, bewildered regret in the world in their sorrowing words, “We were hoping that he was the one who was going to rescue Israel.” They were the words of men whose hopes were dead and buried. Then Jesus came and talked with them, and the meaning of life became clear and the darkness became light. A story-teller makes one of his characters say to the one with whom he has fallen in love, “I never knew what life meant until I saw it in your eyes.” It is only in Jesus that, even in the bewildering times, we learn what life means.
(iii) It tells us of the courtesy of Jesus. He made as if he would have gone on. He would not force himself upon them; he awaited their invitation to come in. God gave to men the greatest and the most perilous gift in the world, the gift of free-will; we can use it to invite Christ to enter our lives or to allow him to pass on.
(iv) It tells how he was known to them in the breaking of bread. This always sounds a little as if it meant the sacrament; but it does not. It was at an ordinary meal in an ordinary house, when an ordinary loaf was being divided, that these men recognized Jesus. It has been beautifully suggested that perhaps they were present at the feeding of the five thousand, and, as he broke the bread in their cottage home, they recognized his hands again. It is not only at the communion table we can be with Christ; we can be with him at the dinner table too. He is not only the host in his Church; he is the guest in every home. Fay Inchfawn wrote,
Sometimes, when everything goes wrong;
When days are short and nights are long;
When wash-day brings so dull a sky
That not a single thing will dry.
And when the kitchen chimney smokes,
And when there’s naught so `queer’ as folks!
When friends deplore my faded youth,
And when the baby cuts a tooth.
While John, the baby last but one,
Clings round my skirts till day is done;
And fat, good-tempered Jane is glum,
And butcher’s man forgets to come.
Sometimes I say on days like these,
I get a sudden gleam of bliss.
Not on some sunny day of ease,
He’ll come … but on a day like this!”
The Christian lives always and everywhere in a Christ-filled world.
(v) It tells how these two men, when they received such great joy, hastened to share it. It was a seven miles tramp back to Jerusalem, but they could not keep the good news to themselves. The Christian message is never fully ours until we have shared it with someone else.
(vi) It tells how, when they reached Jerusalem, they found others who had already shared their experience. It is the glory of the Christian that he lives in a fellowship of people who have had the same experience as he has had. It has been said that true friendship begins only when people share a common memory and can say to each other, “Do you remember?” Each of us is one of a great fellowship of people who share a common experience and a common memory of their Lord.
(vii) It tells that Jesus appeared to Peter. That must remain one of the great untold stories of the world. But surely it is a lovely thing that Jesus should make one of his first appearances to the man who had denied him. It is the glory of Jesus that he can give the penitent sinner back his self-respect.
“You have the right to be wrong” was a common expression of an old high school history teacher of mine. Some students hated this teacher because they thought he was lazy and a bit sadistic. He never lectured, nor did he ever seem to have a lesson plan prepared. He’d just sit back in his chair, sometimes putting his feet up on his desk, and then he’d ask probing questions and insult whoever attempted to answer them (usually for their lack of individual thought).
For homework he’d assign us lots of dry reading material, and then we’d have to write very brief papers on complex subjects, like a two-page, double-spaced paper about the causes of the Civil War. Believe me this is a lot harder than writing a 5-10 page paper on the subject because you have to choose your words very carefully. Otherwise you’ll run out of space before you make a dent in the topic. Two pages was the maximum you’d be allowed to write. If you wrote 2.1 pages, you’d fail the assignment. “Verbal flabbiness” wasn’t allowed.
Despite his lack of popularity, this teacher had the stated goal of teaching students to think for themselves instead of merely regurgitating information we learned elsewhere. This is tough to do with 17-year olds, especially with a subject like U.S. history.
I thought the expression, “you have the right to be wrong,” while usually meant as a joke in this class, was good advice. It’s not in the Bill of Rights, but perhaps it can be considered a basic human right. You have the right to be wrong. You have the right to make mistakes. You have the right to fail.
Many people don’t see the value in exercising this right, however. I think this is also a major component in the fear of public speaking. What if you take a stand on something, and you’re shot down, proven utterly wrong?
What’s so terrible about being wrong? If you’re never wrong, to me that indicates you aren’t growing. I hope that five years from now, I’ll look back on some of my blog posts from this year and disagree with myself. Otherwise it would mean that either I haven’t grown or that I was too timid in expressing myself.
Don’t be afraid to take stabs at the edges of your certainty. That’s one of the best ways to learn. Let others react to your ideas. Sometimes they’ll help provide new facts that can allow you to refine your ideas. Other times they’ll merely react emotionally which can help you become more resilient in weathering other people’s emotions. Don’t be afraid to put out your ideas in a conversation, a speech, an article, a blog entry, a forum post any communication where you can get feedback from others.
Take your ego out of the picture
I think people resist being wrong because they equate their ideas with their ego. So if their ideas get shot down, they treat it as a personal defeat they feel humiliated. The feedback from others may even encourage this reaction: “Boy, you really blew it tonight.” But just because others equate your ideas with your identity doesn’t mean you’re obligated to do so as well.
Over-investing your ego in your results is unproductive and unnecessary. If you think the failure of your ideas is a personal failure, you’ll take too few risks, risks that could ultimately pay off. But if you can learn to separate yourself from your ideas and your work and see them as something separate from yourself, you’ll feel you truly have the right to be wrong. If an idea fails, why not let it be the idea’s fault instead of your own? Allow your ideas to fail without turning them into personal defeat.
When I write articles or give speeches, I do my best to remove my ego from any attachment to the results. Ideas are ideas they are not me. Even if I’m relating personal stories, those stories are still not equal to the real me. They’re merely words. If I give a speech and get a lousy reaction, the reaction might be due to my lack of skill as a speaker. But again, my skills are not equal to the real me. My ideas and skills are merely possessions or creations, but they don’t define the real me. Thus, I never feel my ego is in any danger if a speech or an article bombs.
If an idea seems to really hit the mark, I don’t take it as a personal victory either. I just think… hey, that’s appears to be a good idea. If an idea misses the mark, I see if there’s any helpful feedback and then may refine or abandon the idea. Or it could be that I felt the idea wasn’t expressed well enough and missed its mark due to being poorly communicated. To me it’s all just feedback to create better ideas and to improve communication skills.
I think this attitude is what helps make it very easy for me to give a speech without nervousness and to write regularly for an audience of tens of thousands of readers. I feel it’s perfectly fine for me to be wrong. When discussing a complex subject like personal growth, there are many shades of gray. Despite all the knowledge and experience I have in this area, there’s no way I could ever hope to perfectly understand every facet of this vast field. Plus my communication skills are invariably imprecise. Effective communication requires a combination of logic and emotion, and those are sometimes at odds with each other and will impact different individuals uniquely. I know of no great speakers or writers who ever achieve unanimous agreement when they communicate anything of value. By keeping ego out of the picture, you can do as Winston Churchill suggested move from one failure to the next with no loss of enthusiasm.
How could you better exercise your right to be wrong? Have you been afraid to hit the gym because you don’t know what to do and expect that you will only look like an idiot? Don’t put your ego on the line remember that it’s only your skills that are lacking. You are not lacking as a human being just because you lack certain knowledge and skill. Where else could you take a stab at being wrong or ignorant where the only long-term consequence would be a bruised ego (and not even that if you leave your ego behind)?
You have the right to be wrong. Let your ideas fail, let your skills prove their inadequacy, and let your knowledge reveal its limits. None of that is the real you anyway.
When you fail you discover your boundaries. You map out the edges of your capabilities. And this allows you to eventually move beyond them.
Being wrong eventually leads to being right. And even where it doesn’t, it’s still a more interesting path than being nothing.
Copyright © Steve Pavlina
Steve Pavlina
Personal Development for Smart People
http://www.stevepavlina.com
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog (blog)
http://www.stevepavlina.com/articles (articles)
Steve is intensely growth-oriented. He trained in martial arts, ran the L.A. Marathon, and graduated from college in three semesters with two degrees. He can juggle, count cards at blackjack, and make damn good guacamole. Steve is also a polyphasic sleeper, sleeping just 2-3 hours per day and only 20 minutes at a time. So chances are good that he’s awake right now.
People say, as they get older their hearing is not what it used to be. I have found this to be true for myself. The older I get, and I plan to get as old as I can, the more I hear noises in the middle of the night. Noises, I might add, that I have never heard before.
I’m not against noise. Personally, I try to make as much noise as possible. I’m just against noise not orchestrated with my sleeping habits.
And at this juncture of my career, sleeping has become a habit. In fact, I might describe it as an addiction. I tried breaking this addiction once but my wife complained I was just becoming crotchety.
When I was younger, I didn’t need as much sleep as today. Some experts opine that as a person gets older they don’t need as much sleep as they used to. I find this absolutely, positively untrue. I need more sleep today than I have ever needed in my entire life.
Actually, what I really need is to be able to sleep all night without disturbance. My definition of disturbance is anything I hear when I am trying to go to sleep and I demand everything to be quiet. I will not mention any names, but this also includes persons who have the annoying habit of trying to talk while I’m trying to sleep.
It is not that I’m not interested in what this unnamed person has to say; it’s just that I don’t want to hear it when I’m trying to go to sleep. People have all day to get whatever is on their mind all talked out. That is why God gave us daylight hours.
It seems of late that no matter when I go to bed or how long I have actually slept, in the morning I always need just one more minute of sleep. That one minute more of sleep is the most crucial aspect of my nightly siesta.
Personally, I do not believe in alarm clocks. I think they have evolved over the years from some Neanderthal idea that it is important to get up at a certain time in the morning.
I’m of the opinion that getting up is a relative thing. One man’s wake-up time is another man’s “please, don’t disturb me yet.”
If God wanted me to get up at a certain time every morning he would have made it a little more appealing. As far as I’m concerned, I know I have slept enough when my wife is standing at the bedroom doorway, both hands on her hips and saying to me, in that wonderful voice of hers, “Are you ever going to get out of that bed today?”
I suppose I would be more willing to get up earlier if wasn’t for all the noises in the night. I believe in silent night, and not only at Christmas.
It is amazing to me how intelligent these nighttime noises can be. They are absolutely quiet until I’m just about ready to drift off into La-la-land, then there is a medley of screeching and yelling and screaming right outside my window.
It is not that I hate cats; it is rather I abhor cats making noise when I’m trying to catnap. Cats are wonderful creatures. For the most part, these cats mill around throughout the day and refuse to pierce the daytime with any fracas.
They stay out of my way and I reciprocate by staying out of their way. They keep quiet all day long but when I’m just about ready to drift off to sleep ,they start a Hullabaloo concert right out my window.
Show me a cat that is silent all night long and I will show you one that has been run over by a truck. Cats do not know how to be silent at night. This confuses me because all day long you don’t hear one little whimper from these creatures.
It does not matter what time I go to bed, all of the cats within a 10-mile radius of my bedroom are alerted to this pertinent information. All I can figure is there must be some sort of a feline union, or maybe it is tabby-telepathy for all I know. Just two nights ago, I counted 2,972 cats outside my bedroom window, all fighting each other at the same time.
Perhaps, and this is pure conjecture on my part, these cats are working in shifts, which is why the entire night can be thoroughly covered with screeches, squawks and meows that grate on my fragile nerves.
When the neighborhood cats finish their nocturnal routine and settle down for the night, quietness settles over my backyard, which is conducive to sleep. At this point, the only bird the neighborhood cats have not successfully chased out of my backyard awakens to serenade a new day.
If it is not the night noises keeping me awake it is worrying about something n anything.
But a verse in the Bible gives me some encouragement. “Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep.” (Psalms 127:1-2 KJV.)
Not all the cats in the neighborhood can take from me what God delights to give me.
James L. Snyder is an award winning author and popular columnist living with his wife, Martha, in Ocala, Florida and can be contacted at jamessnyder2@att.net.
It goes without question that any business intending to thrive will, sooner or later, be forced into making an honest inventory of assets and liabilities. Yet, whether from a business perspective, or in the going concern of a single human life, we often lose track of our most vital product, our own attitudes.
Attitudes, for the most part, dictate the nature and result of our relationships with ourselves, other persons, places, things, concepts and ideas, the world at large, and in the final assessment, the very nature and result of the lives we lead.
It has been said that humans do not have attitudes; their
attitudes have them. Our attitudes grow, develop, and often
change over a lifetime, based exclusively on what we have learned to believe about the world around us, and all its
components.
We make judgements and coping decisions based on what we believe to be true about a given situation or person, seldom considering that our beliefs and attitudes may be unrealistically rigid, or even at fault.
Attitudes - A System of Believing
Think on this. All humans come into this world like a blank sheet of paper, with no knowledge and no beliefs about the people and situations we will encounter. As individuals, everything we believe today to be correct and true, our
worldview if you will, is a result of situations we have
experienced thus far, and the lessons we have learned from those encounters.
From that lifetime bank of gathered information we develop systems of believing, or patterns of beliefs, that are as unique to each human as is a fingerprint. And needless to say, some people hold their particular belief system to be the only one that is correct and worthwhile.
As a direct outgrowth from our belief system comes our personal attitudes. Whether it be cooperative, neutral, defensive, or aggressive, an attitude is simply an individual’s patterned method of understanding and coping with the world, its inhabitants, and all related situations and circumstances.
Killer Attitudes
Hatred and intolerance are attitudes that have spawned warfare and death since a time before history was first written. Yet in a smaller and more personal, yet perhaps more relevant perspective, those attitudes can also condemn an individual to an ongoing inner warfare, a lack of peace within.
Rigid and inflexible beliefs and attitudes often produce a
lock-step approach to living, keeping one in a state of constant contention with himself and the world about him. Quashed potential, perpetual discontent, damaged relationships, and personal failure on at least some level, are frequently the sad result.
On the other hand, attitudes of tolerance, acceptance, patience, and cooperation toward self and others can create a satisfying life, great achievement, healthy relationships, and numerous and varied definitions of the word success on all levels of business and personal endeavor.
A life built around flexible and positive attitudes will
invariably foster harmony, contentment, productivity, and peace of mind for an individual and all who surround her.
Attitude - Asset or Liability?
It’s commonly known that major corporations expend untold billions of dollars annually on public relations advertising, specifically to overcome a common perception that labels them as greedy and heartless.
However large or small, most business concerns will, over time, develop a character or a persona that directly reflects the attitudes of those who have the most influence. Any contrived image that might be overtly displayed is typically of little significance.
The underlying attitude, the real attitude, will be felt and identified by customers and clients. And based upon those feelings and definitions, their own attitudes in fact, they will make their next buying decision.
Attitudes - the Deciding Factor
The final result of any business or personal endeavor will unfold in a direct relation to the beliefs and attitudes injected by individuals. This principle holds true without fail, in corporate board rooms, at front service desks, and at kitchen tables as well.
Fortunately, the power to choose in this aspect has been freely granted to all of humankind. What one believes will ultimately decide her or his own reality. Their attitudes will make it so.
Widely regarded as one of the founders of modern psychology,
William James said, “The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind.”
Dan B. Cauthron has been involved in direct marketing more than 30 years. He offers FREE No Nonsense Internet Marketing Advice and Tested Tools and Resources at: http://DanBCauthron.com
Too many of us are too hard on ourselves, always alert to that devilish voice whispering “you should be farther along in life”. Smother that voice right now by reading this quote by Booker T. Washington:
“I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed.”
What enviable wisdom!
Obstacles, impediments, interruptions. Have you ever had to retrieve a sick child from school when you’re working with the direction and the intensity of a tornado? Yet I don’t think he meant kind of interruption.
No, I think he meant much bigger obstacles. Obstacles with a capitol O. Like starting a business with no money. Or no skills. Like disabilities, or serious illnesses.
Every business person should take a look now and then at how far they have come, instead of how far they have to go. It’s like looking back at the hill you just jogged up. I do this every time I have to re-do my resume. It’s a natural time to reflect on what you’ve learned, how you’ve grown.
Get a boost as a business owner by evaluating more than the profits you’ve earned. How about determination, and courage, and wisdom? Those don’t flow from the water fountain. Consider the knowledge you’ve gained — often the hard way — and the priceless result of real, gritty, experience. You could probably add a few important words to the popular Just Do It motto. How about Just-Figure-Out-a-Way-To-Do-It!
Even if you haven’t reached the goals you once set (and they might need to be reevaluated), are you a better businessperson today? Reward yourself for your diligence! Do you understand your work habits and what motivates you? Do you concentrate and focus better, making fewer dumb mistakes? Once my boss had to stop the presses at a big city newspaper because I had missed a 2-inch tall headline in a multi-thousand dollar double spread ad that read “Granding Opening!” (My obstacle was apparently stupidity thicker than a brick wall that day.) Today I REALLY focus when I’m proofreading.
Of great importance, have you learned to appreciate that tomorrow will be a better day if you’re having a bad one today?
If you’ve succeeded despite many obstacles, give yourself a boost by looking back. It shouldn’t always come through a cup of coffee or in a candy bar wrapper or in bonus check. It should come from within you!
About The Author
Lisa Lake shares her ability to communicate through good writing with anyone who wants to learn. See her free tips at http://MyAdBlaster.com and catch advice from the staff at http://InternetWriters.com Quick turnaround on writing from classified ads to ezines and ebooks. Reach Lisa at lisa@drnunley.com or 801-328-9006.
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